How well i recall the time that no lesser personage than Lady Cameltoe herself graciously requested my presence down at Cameltoe Hall for the grand inauguration of her newly-installed and sumptuously luxurious gothic Glory Hole.
The village had been awash with rumours about it for weeks thanks to some of her looser-lipped servants but here was the opportunity to actually witness the much whispered about installation with my very own eyes.
The original 16th century Glory Hole had been the pride of the good Lady's family for generations but had latterly fallen somewhat into disrepair and neglect, hence her bold commissioning of the magnificent new model.
Lady C would perform the discretionary honours from her comfortable place of concealment safe from the hungry eyes of the private viewing gallery but who could be the highly honoured gentleman to proudly take his place and personally benefit from this greatly trumpeted and historic opening ceremony?
Word had it that he might be some bristling and bewhiskered Arch-Duke from the continent but nobody knew the truth except the Lady herself, as is only right and proper on these momentous, stately occasions.
The entire event proved a resounding success greatly to the utmost satisfaction of all concerned and no higher honour could have been awarded me than being asked to bat second whereupon i, although of lowly origin, pride myself that i performed with just as much glory as any blue-blooded nobleman.